What seems like an eternity ago (but really has only been a few weeks), I started a series defining a way of eating that seems right — eschewing all the gimmicks and desperate striving that popular diets try to force upon us. In the first part, I introduced my approach:

Discarding the unrealistic and unsustainable, and then learning through practice how to effectively fuel your body in a way that you not only can live with, but actually enjoy. Selah.

In part two, I expanded on the first couple of components of that definition — discarding the unrealistic and unsustainable, and then learning through practice.

In this post, after an embarrassingly long delay, I want to spend some time looking at the last part: eating in a way that you can not only live with, but also enjoy.

Embracing an Eating MO You Can Live With

Too many approaches to weight loss and eating teach us a sort of sprint to thinness, promising an easy transition to lifelong maintenance that just never materializes. In fact, some medical research indicates that these sprinting behaviors — primarily aimed at radical calorie restriction — actually slow the metabolism more or less permanently, promoting quick weight gain when more normal eating habits are resumed and making it harder to lose weight in the future. Sound familiar? I starred in that movie, and several sequels.

Apart from the science, this kind of sprint approach is exhausting and short-sighted. I’m reminding myself of this truth today because I’m in the process of setting up a photo shoot for my “day job” website and marketing materials, and I’d desperately like to look tall and willowy in them.

(Alas, my Perkins butt pretty much excludes me from this descriptor, so I’ll have to settle for looking like myself. It’s probably for the best. I digress.)

I’ve been plotting get-thin-quick schemes in my head in between trips to the pantry for snacks. Do you see what I did there? I’m looking for some miracle skinny cure that doesn’t actually require me to do something different so I can look good in pictures. And then what?

For me, accepting the need to do things differently for the rest of forever has been fundamental to taking better care of myself and protecting myself from the temptation to try every new diet that comes along. I’m tired of that mess. And it doesn’t work anyway.

I’ve mentioned before I’m insulin resistant, so a steady diet of refined carbs is just never going to be a good idea for me. There’s no way around it. As my dad would say, I can accept it or go through life mad. I choose to accept it. That doesn’t mean I always act in congruence with it. It just means when I don’t act in congruence with that reality, I suffer the consequences of weight gain and sluggishness. It is what it is.

Given that reality, my next task has been to figure out how to adapt my eating habits to accommodate it, in a way that doesn’t make fueling my body a miserable experience.

Enjoying God’s Bounty & the Connections It Fosters

I find it easy, neck-deep in the “weight loss struggle,” to lose sight of the idea that we are supposed to enjoy our food. I’m not making this up because I’m a foodie deep down inside. Here’s my basis:

God created us, and the whole universe, including food. He designed us such that we would require food to keep us going. And look at the diversity of foods he made available to us! His creation is stunning, and He intended us to enjoy it — though not to idolize it or become slaves to it.

We’re also not supposed to worry about or live for it, but be grateful for our sustenance, receiving it with joy.

And while I think our culture has gone a little crazy with the “loving is food” bit, much of our fellowship does revolve around food because it is a vehicle for togetherness. It’s the blessing and curse of the potluck dinner. From the family dinner table that’s often the single intersection of family members every day, to the date night meals that offer quality time and connection with my husband every week, eating is a natural point of connection.

How tragic to take all of those beautiful moments of connection and fellowship and turn them into a chore because you’re trying to choke down some unappealing or unavailable way of eating. What an unfortunate distraction from what really matters in those moments. From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that nothing sucks the joy out of family togetherness quite like scraping your carbohydrates into a napkin or investing so much energy in your menu selections that you aren’t focused on the people you love and enjoying the moment. I’ve done that so many times. It is foolish.

I’m still learning. With practice, I’m learning how to put food — its selection, its enjoyment, its impact on my health and life — in the proper context. A big part of this is simply practice. With consistency, behaviors become habits and a kind of muscle memory, so they don’t require so much mental energy to perform after awhile. So if you’re tripping around a little bit because you’re early in the process of change, cut yourself some slack and stick with it. It gets easier.

Case in point: we are in the process of planning our annual Easter get-together for our family, with 30 people mashed into our living room around a table loaded with the best spread we can afford to offer. I love planning it, I love cooking it, I love serving it to my family and thanking God for His abundance. And I love sharing in it with them. It is one of our feast days in honor of Christ’s death and resurrection for us.

So how do we work within the guard rails for healthy eating and still enjoy the moments around the table?

We must honor both our limitations and our opportunities in this, and it comes with practice, creativity and submission.

Just as with the potluck coping strategies shared earlier, when we host family meals, there are strategies that allow us to enjoy the moment, enjoy the food and still take care of our bodies. Here are some things to consider as you weave your way of eating into the fabric that is your life:

1. Find some killer recipes that fit within your eating MO (or invent them!). One of the things I really appreciate is the taste of real food, well prepared and seasoned. When I plan our menu for the Easter get-together, I serve the traditional stuff — mashed potatoes, glazed ham, homemade bread, and some other things our family loves but that aren’t on my eating plan. I also include a mixed green salad, with fresh spinach, arugula, heirloom tomatoes, cucumbers, fresh herbs, goat cheese and nuts, with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette. We complement the starchy favorites with a few green things, like roasted asparagus or green beans with garlic and almonds. Instead of serving straight-up pickled beets, I use them in a beet and walnut salad, diluting some of the beets’ natural sweetness by pairing it with greens, walnuts, goat cheese and good-quality olive oil. Although I use a sweet glaze on the ham, I also serve a beef tenderloin with fresh horseradish as an alternative. At the same time, I pass the bread basket right on by by so I can feel good about sampling the dessert later.

Yes: “sampling” dessert. This was one great and unexpected benefit of cutting back dramatically on sugar as a rule. Those few times a year I go for it, all it takes is a bite or two to satisfy as much or more than if I eat an entire serving.

The end result, I hope, is that everyone enjoys the meal without feeling forced into my eating MO, I’m not distracted by the carb count on my plate, and we all enjoy a delicious meal, great conversation and fellowship together.

2. Be creative about how you manage your guard rails. Eating choices aren’t always about what we eat. Sometimes it’s a matter of when or how often. My intermittent fasting friends rock this concept. Personally, I’ve started trying to designate feast days for myself, where I give myself permission to eat whatever is served, knowing that I’ll go back to my normal routine the next day. The more consistent I am the rest of the time, the less “off the rails” I go on feast days because my tastes are changing a little bit over time. I’m piloting the feast day approach this year, and will let you know how it goes. So far, I’m looking at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and my birthday as designated feast days. I think I need something in the summer, but that always varies, so I’m considering it a floating feast day for now. I got the idea from a coincidental study of the Old Testament feast days. A few times a year, the people were to come to Jerusalem to make sacrifices to the LORD and to feast and fellowship. It was a significant element of their remembrance of God’s goodness and provision and His promised Messiah. As Christians, our family’s equivalent of that is Christmas and Easter celebrations. Thanksgiving is our celebration of God’s provision and blessing upon us from day-to-day, and then I threw my birthday on the list just because. It IS my birthday. If there’s a day to eat cake, for me, it’s that day.

3. Savor the moment. Cooking can be a grind, especially when you’re responsible for doing it day in and day out for a family that may or may not remember to appreciate you for it. So every week or two, I carve out time for Musical Dinner to remind me to savor the experience of cooking delicious, real food for me and for my family. The music varies — sometimes it’s Van Morrison, sometimes Lauren Daigle, Miles Davis or Bach. But it’s always playing just a little bit loud. And I make a meal that requires too many ingredients, a lot of chopping, heady aromas and a little bit of taste-testing — Italian fits the bill nicely most times.

4. Feast first with your eyes. I have a good friend who is a master of setting the scene — a well-placed vase of flowers, a set table complete with sunny tablecloth, meals carefully plated on beautiful dishes. This is not a strength for me day-to-day, but I notice when I invest the extra moments for these special touches, it pulls me out of the utilitarian and into the moment. I’m more thankful, I savor each bite more, I slow down and pay attention instead of letting my thoughts carry me away.

5. Consistency is the name of the game. Remember Newton’s first law? Neither do I, but I think it goes something like this: Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest will stay at rest, unless acted upon by another force. Basically, it’s the idea of inertia. The more consistent we have been with eating habits, the less volatile we’re likely to be. I’ve found this to be true from my experience as well. When I’ve been eating well for a week or more, it’s easier for me to make the next right choice. But once I make an impulse decision to eat junk or something else I normally don’t eat, I’m a lot more likely to keep making those decisions, too. Diet experts will tell me that’s my body’s insulin response, compelling sensations of hunger that drive continued overeating. I think that’s certainly part of it. A lifetime of practice eating as an emotional coping mechanism is another part, no matter what the scientists say. And an innate drive to satisfy the desires of the flesh — our sin nature, in other words — is another component.

Think about it

This last point about consistency is a microcosm of how we navigate the leading of the Spirit versus the pull of the flesh in our lives. If we’re not actively walking in the way of the Lord, we find ourselves sitting by the wayside with sinners, indulging our flesh.

As Paul says in Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” If we’re not deliberating following the Spirit, doing the right thing, we’ll end up gratifying the flesh, doing the wrong things.

I do not purport that every eating decision is a spiritual matter. Eating is foremost a physical thing, affecting our physical bodies. But like everything in our lives, it is influenced and informed by the spiritual things. And like so much in God’s great design, it’s a picture of important spiritual truths.

As I’ve applied myself to seeking the Lord and learning how to find victory over my perennial food issues, I have appreciated again and again, the spiritual lessons God is teaching me and reminding me of along the way. It is as though He is using this journey for me as a series of object lessons, reminding me of the importance of similar principles in my spiritual life.

Am I seeking Him with the same energy and zeal with which I’m seeking skinny?

Are my actions day in and day out congruent with who He tells me I am?

Am I feeding my mind and my soul with quality “nutrition” from the word of God or mostly with junk food from the world at large?

Is the fruit of the Spirit in my life as visible to the people around me as the physical transformation that has come from weight loss?

I’ve come to see that the LORD reveals Himself to us in almost anything, if we’re looking.

Think about it. (Selah)