The Heart of Weight Problems and Why We Shouldn’t Go It Alone

Over the past year, at least a dozen different women have approached me with the same question:

“You look great! What are you doing?”

For full disclosure, I’ve done a lot of things — I’ve exercised more discipline around eating and working out, I’ve used journaling to process what I’m learning, I’ve worked with my primary care provider for accountability, I’ve researched different strategies and ways of eating, and I’ve reviewed and applied lessons from many years of successes and failures with weight loss.

I’ve done those things many times before.

The differentiating factor for me now is the heart change brought about by seeking God in victory over a lifetime of struggling with my weight. Specifically, I asked Him for victory over the sin that led to my struggle. Because that’s the part I’d never dealt with.

Science tells us obesity causes heart problems. I’m telling you my heart problem caused my obesity.

If the person’s eyes don’t then glaze over, they usually follow it up with:

“OK, but what are you eating?”

When it comes to weight loss, so often what we really want is a magic bullet that will change our bodies — rapidly — without necessitating any discernible change in our habits, beliefs or choices. 

These programs exist, at least in theory — the HCG Diet, the Atkins Diet, Weight Watchers, Herbalife, NutriStystem, prescription weight-loss therapies have all at one time or another facilitated 30-50 pounds of weight loss for me personally. There are many, many more. But they rarely stand the test of time.

Programs treat the symptom — excess weight — and they can help our learning curve on basics of healthy eating and exercise. But in my experience, they don’t change the factors that caused weight gain to begin with.

A few years ago, a curious incident with a loaf of homemade pumpkin bread forced me to realize that there was a spiritual component to my weight struggle that I’d been ignoring.

Over and over, I’d screw up my courage and willpower to peak capacity, undertake a rigorous new program promised to deliver the results I wanted and do my very best to sprint to “my best self” through sheer determination. Then I would get tired and go back to doing what I used to do and eventually find myself in the same familiar place of failure and disappointment.

I was addressing my weight without addressing myself. Under pressure, my head knowledge and willpower caved to my own cravings to do things that aren’t good for me, i.e, to behave in a way that’s inconsistent with a healthy body and mind. Whether you have 100 pounds to lose or are fighting to reverse a 10-pound gain, chances are you can relate. It sounds a lot like these words from Paul in Romans:

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. (Romans 7:15)

Paul tells us that’s our flesh — our sin nature — driving us. Keep in mind, he writes here in the first person, present tense — he is saved, an apostle — and he’s admitting that he, too, struggled at times to do what he knew was right, just like you and I.

“Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:20)

Here he defines the root of the problem: sin. We’re being human. This battle we fight between our cravings and our better judgment is the fundamental battle between the flesh (our sin nature) and the spirit (the indwelling Spirit of God).

Please don’t get me wrong: I’m not trying to kick you (or me) while we’re down. We cannot change the fact of our sin nature any more than we can change the fact of our gender, or that we inherited our mother’s double chin, our father’s hairy toes, or in my case, a Perkins butt. (I’m still not sure what that means, but my grandmother has proclaimed this fact more than once with a knowing nod at whoever in the room remembers our Perkins ancestors and their notable derrieres.) We are who we are.

The great news is that while we can’t change who we are, Jesus set us free from it through his death and resurrection. So, you say, Jesus set me free from being fat when he died on the cross? Doesn’t this trivialize his sacrifice? Jesus set us free from slavery to all of the unruly desires of our flesh — including ones that make us fat like gluttony and self-indulgence. There’s nothing trivial about it.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” (Galatians 5:16-17)

The Holy Spirit is described as a helper for us. We already have victory over sin through Christ’s death, and the Spirit helps us claim and apply that truth to our lives. Easy, right? Why don’t we all immediately appropriate the Holy Spirit to our overeating or overweight issues?

1. We don’t see our weight issues as warranting God’s attention. It’s easy to feel small next to our Great, Big God. This week, I’ve been reading in 2 Kings about the prophet Elisha. Many of Elisha’s miracles are very personal: he called upon God to find a lost ax head (2 Kings 6); he fixed a poison stew (2 Kings 4); he helped out the nice woman who housed him (2 Kings 4). These miracles changed just one life at a time, but they were huge to the small lives they touched. This shows us God cares about all our needs, even if they seem insignificant in the grand scheme.
2. We don’t see it as a spiritual problem. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 says, “For though we walk in the flesh we are not waging war according to the flesh, For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” That sounds spiritual to me. We have no trouble calling upon God to help us with things beyond our control: Lord, please give us travelings mercies. Lord, please heal my sick child. Lord, please help me find my lost reading glasses so I’m not late for work. Lord, please help me through this difficult conversation. Lord, save my marriage. But it doesn’t occur to us to ask for help with our weight problem because …
3. We don’t want to admit it’s out of our control. This might be tough to swallow in our age of empowerment and “fierce, fearless females.” We’re supposed to have it all together. We’re constantly encouraging each other with “Girl, you got this!” Here’s the thing: no, you don’t. No, I don’t. Every good thing we’ve got came from God. Self-control? That’s a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). We are to take advantage of every opportunity to practice it (1 Peter 1:5-10), but its source is the Spirit. The only thing you and I brought to the party is that pesky sin nature that’s behind every bad decision we’ve ever made. So why do we try so hard to control everything?
4. We’re struggling with pride. I read in a commentary this morning that “Pride is placing an excessive price on self. … Pride is the difference between what you are and what you think you are.” If anything, it seems most of us suffer from low self-esteem, not excessive self-esteem, but let’s consider the definition a little differently: Pride is placing an excessive expectation on self. … Pride is the difference between what you are capable of and what you think you are capable of. Putting unrealistic demands and expectations on ourselves comes from the same place as thinking more highly of ourselves than we should. Our culture tells us we girls can do anything (right, Barbie?). God’s Word tells us that with God nothing is impossible. Our pride chokes on admitting failure or asking for help, but God gives grace to the humble.

Consider that one of the reasons Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light is because he lifts from our shoulders the heavy burden of trying to do it all on our own.

Besides that, we’re usually wrong. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” It’s repeated in chapter 16.

We are not meant to traverse the challenges of life on our own, but to rely on our Helper, the Holy Spirit. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to take action on our own behalf to correct weight issues. We absolutely do. But tapping into the Spirit gives us self-control to fuel behavior change. It gives us strength for coping with temptation. It gives us wisdom and perspective in decision-making. It gives us discernment to know the difference between the craving and need. It allows the Holy Spirit to bring about the change of heart that drives lasting transformation physically and spiritually.

So next time you’re tempted to tell yourself Girl, you got this!, instead remind yourself that God’s got you. I am learning over and over that He is a much firmer foundation than I will ever be.

Dear Father, thank you for caring about our big and small challenges. Thank you for equipping us with your Spirit as a Helper in all things. Help us to lean on You instead of on our own strength. Teach us to lean into Your rest and to submit to all the ways You’re changing us for the better. Amen.